Sticker Chart, Here We Come

I've never thought much of reward-based motivation. Using a sticker chart to get the girls to do things I expect them to do just never sat right with me...until yesterday. Seriously, I should make a list of things I would NEVER do and check off all the things I eventually end up doing.

I always thought the good feeling of a job well done, or the feeling of satisfaction of learning a new task, or the pride of seeing one's accomplishment should be good enough. Turns out, kids don't always get that. They tend to live in the moment and if in that moment they don't want to do something, a future feeling is not motivation enough.

So, it all started yesterday...or actually, middle of January. Amelia is taking guitar lessons. She begged for a guitar for Christmas and the look of total excitement and happiness was worth the slightly expensive/extravagant gift (compared to what the girls normally get). Evelyn's best friend's father is a guitar teacher so I called them up to see how much he would charge. Turns out he only teaches through a store. And, music lessons are kind of expensive. (I'm suddenly grateful for all my piano lessons...thanks Mom!!) But, his wife offered to do it for free. She dabbles a bit in guitar and can take Amelia to a point after which, if she's still into it, we'd have to find a professional. We were also able to schedule lessons every other week (every week was a bit too often) and Melody comes over for a play date while Amelia gets her lesson. It's been going fabulously!!!

The only problem - the in-between lesson part. This kid does not want to practice. It's like I'm asking her to walk on fire. There is never a good time of day. Even when she has nothing to do ALL day, nothing is still more attractive than practicing. The only way it has seemed to work is to have me sit with my guitar and practice with her (which I do love) but with 3+ other kids, homework, dinner, bedtime and whatever else is going on after school it's hard for me to sit down and practice for 30 minutes with her. If I need to go tend to something else, she stops playing and waits for me to get back. I've tried having her in the kitchen while I'm making dinner but the divided attention doesn't work either. She wants to play but she wants to play by osmosis...by sitting and looking at the guitar as it imparts its wisdom to her.

So yesterday, I was done with the nagging and the sulking and the "how much longer do I have to do this". I asked her what would get her motivated to practice. With a smile she said slowly "What?" (I think she knew what I meant, she just wanted to make sure I was actually offering her what she thought I was offering). "Yes Amelia, what can I give you that will make you practice?". She thought all of 10 seconds...
"An iPod?"
"Okay, practice for 5 days every week for a year and I'll get you an iPod."
"A t.v. in my room?"
"2 years, 5 days a week."
I suggested she do something that would be a week-to-week or every-other-week thing.
Since this doesn't regularly happen in this house she said she needed some time to think about it.

In the meantime, she spent the next hour designing a tracking chart for the next few months. Can you tell what she does like to spend her time doing? She then said that she would like some plasticine. Maybe a different colour for every week she hits her 5 day goal. That is doable.

So, today will be the first day of her reward-based motivation. I'm interested to see how long it lasts. If this works, I think there will be a few more charts going on around here. There are even a few things that I could use a sticker chart for. The reward? Maybe a manicure or facial. The possibilities are endless!! I'm off to design my chart.