To Keep or Not to Keep, That is the Question

I've been in a spring cleaning kind of mode lately and have been going through each room in the house secretly getting rid of things. Secretly because the girls would have a coniption-fit if they saw their precious McDonald's toys being carted away. I've been putting everything in a pile in the basement and figure I'll have a garage sale in the spring. If they haven't missed it by then it's fair game. That's my usual mode of cleaning out the toyroom. Put stuff away for a few months before permanently getting rid of it just to make sure there aren't any lost treasures I'm unaware of.

Case in point, a pair of green toy binoculars were found in the pile a couple days ago and have been played with non-stop...I might be able to let those stay. I wish I had room to do a rotating toy system so everything stays relatively new but really, I hate rotating stuff. Winter/summer clothes rotation drive me crazy along with sizing up in shoes and clothes. I'm grateful we have a huge store downstairs but I hate going through all those bins.

Speaking of those bins...that was my room for this week. The storage room. This time it's me who needs a bit of time before purging. I looked at the 5 bins that contains baby stuff that Lucienne has outgrown. To keep or not to keep, that is the question. Is she our last? I don't want another right now. I know Rene is done. I think I'm at the stage of wanting to hold a newborn but will be more than happy to give her back to her Mom. I'll become that sister in the ward who steals baby snuggles from other people's babies.

As a test, I put all her outgrown clothes into garbage bags marked with our consignment number, ready to haul to our local consignment store (which, by the way, I LOVE!!! Went in the other day to find we have over $100 on our account). It wasn't hard to do at all. In fact, my heart skipped a beat just seeing those empty bins ready to be organized for some other use. No tears, no sad sighs. Hopefully the purging side of my brain wasn't outfighting my procreation side but I'll take it as a sign.

Our family feels full.  We have four beautiful, healthy girls. And I'm ready to get out of the house without taking 30 minutes gathering the diaper bag, snacks, making sure everyone has shoes on and their hair is brushed, faces are clean, clothes are presentable (although this is up for debate) only to spend another 10 minutes strapping kids into carseats, setting up movies and finding thrown toys.

I'll cherish it while I'm in it but I'm excited to see what the future will bring.

THE MOM says it's time for followers....

I've been trying to attract some family followers to our delightful Blog, but I am so blog-clueless that it's taken me a couple of shots.  Hopefully we'll start seeing some friendly familiar faces popping up as followers, but don't hold your breath!

Had kinda a crazy day today.  My dear neighbour called in desperation for a ride to her specialist eye appointment ~ so with nothing terribly critical needing my attention at work, I offered to take the morning off and take her there.  We arrived right on time at 11:30, and then waited 3 HOURS for her to be seen!  Ended up sitting next to some River Road-ites who had been there for 30 minutes before us, so spent the time chatting about the changes to our little community...that could have gone on for much longer than 3 hours, but we covered most of the major developments.  (Thank goodness no one can ever build behind us so we'll always have our river view!)  Then on the way back to drop Jan off, we stopped at the grocery/drugstore so she could get a few items while I sat in the car reading from my e-reader, which I just LOVE....great for times when I'm waiting around for something to happen.  And happen it did, or rather it didn't.  My battery died.  Didn't have the key in the ignition, but the lights were in the automatic position and I guess that still draws somewhat from the charge, enough to deplete it to negligible voltage.  (The battery is the original for my 2006 Elantra, and this is the second time it has happened, so was I really all that surprised?)  Poor Jan had to take a taxi home 'cuz she needed to be home for a daycare child she has on Wednesdays, and I had just removed my handi-dandi battery cables last week when I cleaned out the truck and forgot to put them back in....Waited 1 hour and 15 minutes for CAA and the guy said he couldn't even get a reading on my battery so I needed to drive around for at least 30 minutes to help the alternator charge it up as much as it could, but he recommended buying a new one asap.  Thank goodness, again, that I didn't need to stop for fuel!  Now, I've parked the car on the street, on a downward slope in case I need to jumpstart later, and I guess I'm leaving shortly to purchase a new battery.  Not a typical day-in-the-life-of-me, but one I'm glad is almost over...

Fingertips of Love

Awhile ago I read a blog, 71toes.com, that talked about kids believing in themselves. She recounted how her Dad used to write the first letter of one of her talents on her fingertips and how incredibly capable that made her feel. I've thought about it many times and how I wanted to do that with the girls...but I never seemed to get around to it.

This morning we had 10 extra minutes to kill before the bus came. Amelia was somewhere in the house getting last minute details of her outfit together and Evelyn and I were just chillin' on the couch. A pen was sitting on the table and it finally came together...I remembered the fingertip thing, a pen was within reach and I had a few minutes with a child.

I started with asking Evelyn to tell me something she was good at. She looked at me like I was crazy and asked why (great start!!). Finally she came up with making Lucienne laugh...which, by the way, she is very good at. She just has to look at Luci and she laughs. Those two have a pre-mortal connection!! So, on her index finger I put the letter "L". She got that Evelyn smile of trying not to smile (I think a little shocked too that I was writing on her with pen, something I don't like the girls doing). Then I put a "S" for sharing with her sisters. She began to get the hang of it and we came up with C for cartwheels, P for piano, and A for art.

Then Amelia came down and saw I was writing on Evelyn's fingers and instantly demanded to know what we were doing (I'm glad all my no-writing-on-your-bodies-with-pen lectures have paid off and now possibly have been negated). I said we're listing off things we love about Evelyn and things she's good at. Amelia said that I needed to write a J for making jewellery and I realized how much better this experience could be for the girls if they could see their sisters also loved them and were proud of their accomplishments. So, the three of us came up with the additional T for toilets (she's great at cleaning them), H for handstands, XOX for kisses and hugs and B for biking.

Amelia then looks at me and says, "Do we have enough time to do me before the bus comes?" (with a little panic in her voice) If we didn't I think I would have driven them. So, Amelia's fingers ended up with A for art, J for making jewellery, B for biking, G for guitar, M for mopping (I had to get a chore for each of them in there), S for sharing with sisters, R for reading, L for making lunches, H for doing hair and S for swimming.

They wanted me to repeat what each letter stood for a few times, their smiles getting bigger each time. It was sooooo cute - one of those moments that made me feel like I was doing okay at being their mother.

It was raining as they waited for their bus and after a couple of minutes they both ran in screaming that their talents were being washed away. I managed to rewrite half of Evelyn's before their bus pulled up and I gave Amelia the pen to finish repairing hers and Evelyn's on the bus.

It made me realize that I can't sit around waiting for these moments to happen, I need to be going out of my way to make sure each of my girls feel important, loved and special. Saying "I love you" while tucking them into bed is good but there is a better and a best (from a General Conference talk awhile back). I feel like lately we've had negative energy in our house, lots of arguing and back-talk and attitude. There are days I feel very naggy just trying to get them to do the basics of making beds, helping with dinner, practising and cleaning up their things. Even family scripture reading is full of "sit stills" and "pay attentions".

Lets hope this can be the start of something.

Sleep? What's That Again?

I used to think that Moms who said their babies slept through the night were lying. Seriously, 10-12 hours of sleep? That would mean I could sleep more than a 3 hour stretch. I really, really didn't believe them. Then along came Lucienne. And guess what, she slept through the night (see the past tense there? Can you sense where this blog is going?). Some babies just come wired that way. It was nothing I did. No sleep or night training. She just did it.

Then a couple weeks ago she got the flu. I can't remember ever having a baby sick at such a young age (other than a cold here and there). She was miserable for a week. Barely ate during the day and what she did eat just came right back up (thank goodness for breastmilk). I was watching pretty close for signs of dehydration. Her diapers were barely wet, her lips were pretty dry but she still had tears and her skin was okay so I just kept trying to get her to eat little bits at a time. Her best times to breastfeed were at night. She didn't seem to bring up as much and she was up anyway just being uncomfortable.

However, I don't think she had realized I was a 24 hour service station and she's now become a frequent visiter. She slept better during her flu and the few times she came down with colds then she does now. With the other girls it didn't seem to bother me as much doing the frequent night feedings because they had done it from the beginning and a full nights sleep was a distant dream. Evelyn and Audree slept most of their first two years in our bed and I loved it, it was more comfortable and I slept through most feeds.

Lucienne raised the bar though. She's been doing 10 hour nights since she was a month old so now at eight I have zero patience for these night feedings. I've tried bringing her into our bed but they are the worst nights - I have forgotten how to sleep with a baby. I have a sneaking suspicion she's teething but she already has two and she managed to get through those without waking all night.

Now I'm not sure what to do. I want to go back to the old way because I have forgotten how to be good night time mother but I've never been one for night training. Around two it all seems to work out. That's 16 months from now. I don't know what is better, to be sleep deprived but know nothing else or to have seen the light only to have it taken away.

Yoga

I finally went to a yoga class. I've been wanting to try it for a while but never could justify the money. This year with our tax return we decided to set some aside for classes. Gymnastics and swimming for the girls, maybe a yoga class for me and gym membership for Rene. Turns out its actually cheaper to join a gym and take yoga classes through them than to join a yoga class. However, you don't get to pick the instructor or the style of the class.

I'd passed a sign advertising yoga and finally called. Turns out it's about double the price of other classes I'd priced but he does a 2 hour class. He invited me to try one to see if it's what I'm looking for. I'm always up for a free class so went. Turns out it's the "real" type of yoga with meditation and everything. Not the 40 people in a gym stretching but a small class of 4-10 people. The instructor was totally the yoga guru looking type of guy. It was an interesting class. Something that I'd have to get used to but could totally see the benefit to my body. I'm sooooo not flexible but that's not really what yoga is about (certainly a nice side effect though). There were some things I just had to laugh at. He suggested doing most of the class with your eyes closed to not be distracted so I'm glad nobody got to see my sorry attempts at some of the poses. The nice thing about a small class is that he took the time to help each person with each pose, something that I need tons of.

In the last 15 mintues of relaxation my phone rings. I didn't even know I had it in my coat. I felt terrible. After the class he said that he had put the phone outside because he had no idea how to turn it off. Truthfully, I don't know how to get it to stop ringing either without answering it.

It was Rene (no big surprise there since we're the only ones who call it...the odds of us having it on us and having it charged and on are pretty slim though so it doesn't get much usage). I knew something had to be wrong. When he called again (class was thankfully done and I had made an embarrassed exit) I could hear Lucienne SCREAMING in the background. Turns out she cried 2 of the 3 hours I was gone.

She's put a whole new dimension to my nights out now. I don't think I can commit to a 2 hour class every week if she's going to go crazy like this. I'm not even sure what I'm going to do about things like La Leche League or my book club. I hope this is a quick phase because I was enjoying my nights out.

Sticker Chart, Here We Come

I've never thought much of reward-based motivation. Using a sticker chart to get the girls to do things I expect them to do just never sat right with me...until yesterday. Seriously, I should make a list of things I would NEVER do and check off all the things I eventually end up doing.

I always thought the good feeling of a job well done, or the feeling of satisfaction of learning a new task, or the pride of seeing one's accomplishment should be good enough. Turns out, kids don't always get that. They tend to live in the moment and if in that moment they don't want to do something, a future feeling is not motivation enough.

So, it all started yesterday...or actually, middle of January. Amelia is taking guitar lessons. She begged for a guitar for Christmas and the look of total excitement and happiness was worth the slightly expensive/extravagant gift (compared to what the girls normally get). Evelyn's best friend's father is a guitar teacher so I called them up to see how much he would charge. Turns out he only teaches through a store. And, music lessons are kind of expensive. (I'm suddenly grateful for all my piano lessons...thanks Mom!!) But, his wife offered to do it for free. She dabbles a bit in guitar and can take Amelia to a point after which, if she's still into it, we'd have to find a professional. We were also able to schedule lessons every other week (every week was a bit too often) and Melody comes over for a play date while Amelia gets her lesson. It's been going fabulously!!!

The only problem - the in-between lesson part. This kid does not want to practice. It's like I'm asking her to walk on fire. There is never a good time of day. Even when she has nothing to do ALL day, nothing is still more attractive than practicing. The only way it has seemed to work is to have me sit with my guitar and practice with her (which I do love) but with 3+ other kids, homework, dinner, bedtime and whatever else is going on after school it's hard for me to sit down and practice for 30 minutes with her. If I need to go tend to something else, she stops playing and waits for me to get back. I've tried having her in the kitchen while I'm making dinner but the divided attention doesn't work either. She wants to play but she wants to play by osmosis...by sitting and looking at the guitar as it imparts its wisdom to her.

So yesterday, I was done with the nagging and the sulking and the "how much longer do I have to do this". I asked her what would get her motivated to practice. With a smile she said slowly "What?" (I think she knew what I meant, she just wanted to make sure I was actually offering her what she thought I was offering). "Yes Amelia, what can I give you that will make you practice?". She thought all of 10 seconds...
"An iPod?"
"Okay, practice for 5 days every week for a year and I'll get you an iPod."
"A t.v. in my room?"
"2 years, 5 days a week."
I suggested she do something that would be a week-to-week or every-other-week thing.
Since this doesn't regularly happen in this house she said she needed some time to think about it.

In the meantime, she spent the next hour designing a tracking chart for the next few months. Can you tell what she does like to spend her time doing? She then said that she would like some plasticine. Maybe a different colour for every week she hits her 5 day goal. That is doable.

So, today will be the first day of her reward-based motivation. I'm interested to see how long it lasts. If this works, I think there will be a few more charts going on around here. There are even a few things that I could use a sticker chart for. The reward? Maybe a manicure or facial. The possibilities are endless!! I'm off to design my chart.

I've Created a Monster

How do people blog everyday? I have no idea.

I finally got Rene to read another book. We've been married 10 years and he's read 3 books...Narnia (which I haven't even read), Lincoln Lawyer (another I haven't read) and Hunger Games. I LOVE reading. I read all the time, usually more than one book at once. If I'm into a good book I would pick reading over watching tv/movies. There have been many nights that Rene is watching something and I'm reading something. At least it means he can pick what he wants to watch but I don't think he's ever understood why...until last week.

I tried to get him to read The Hunger Games a couple of years ago, before it got super popular. He read a bit of the first chapter, got bored and put it down. I hadn't read it yet so I didn't even know what it was about. Last week, I finally got around to getting it out from the library for me (which, of course, because it has been made into a movie I had to wait forever for it). The downside is when something has a huge, long waiting list you only get it out for 10 days. Not a problem for me, I had it read in about 2. Very entertaining book without any good spots to put it down.

This time I could tell Rene the gist of what it's about and he decided to read it. (I played up the killing part and didn't mention too much about the love story) That took a couple of days which left him with about 5 to finish it. I warned him that I had to have it returned but he nonchalantly started it.

He binged. I guess it would be like if I didn't eat chocolate for years then had a huge pile in front of me. He read it at work, at home (I made him put it down for dinner), while I watched tv, while I got the girls ready for bed, while I did the dishes (you get the point?). He read until midnight (or beyond) every night. One night we even lost power for a couple of hours and he read by candlelight. At first it was endearing, but then after days of him being non-existent in our world I started doubting if this was a good idea. I forgot that Lincoln Lawyer had brought about similar behaviour. I tried to interrupt his reading on a few occasions to have a heart-to-heart talk about nothing in particular. I thought it would be healthy for him, bring him back into the real world. He tried really hard to focus on what I was saying but at some point it just felt cruel so I let him be.

What's cute though is that ever since he finished it he's been bugging me about getting the second one, Catching Fire. I'm 4th in line on three books at the library. He was going to go out and buy it so he didn't have to wait (which I wouldn't let him do...buying books to me is a little bit of a waste of money on something you'll only use once). He talks about it every day. He has a date night planned for when the movie comes out. He's a little obsessed but there are worse things.

On Saturday, for the first time since I've known him, he went to the library to find another book to read while we wait for the sequel. However, at this time nothing can live up to Hunger Games. He read the first couple of pages of a book he got out and put it down..."it's just not the same" he said with a sad little sigh.

I think if I can get him reading more often he'll be able to strike a better balance between life and book. The 5 day deadline (which he did meet) didn't help either. I love that he has finally come out of the closet. He's a certified bookworm...one that I'm going to have to keep feeding.

I feel like we should have an official ceremony or something.

The Changing of the Earrings

Amelia has been faithfully counting down the days she can change her earrings. I can't believe how fast 6 weeks flew by but last night was the night. She's been carrying around all the earrings she has managed to accumulate over the past few weeks (mostly from her birthday) and has been gathering opinions on what her first real pair should be. She settled on hoops, I think because they were the most different from the studs she's been wearing. I also suggested she start with one of her sterling silver pairs to be on the safe side.

I forgot how hard those first studs are to take out! I really had to pull hard and it startled Amelia but she said it didn't hurt. She lost a bit of colour but otherwise fine (I think it brought back memories from the initial piercing!!). As I was putting in the first hoop I mentioned that she should still be careful about having clean hands to touch them with...and here's where I made a big mistake. When she asked why I went into a story about how one of her classmates went to Great Wolf Lodge and how one of her earring holes get infected. It got so swollen they had to take out her earring and as it healed it closed up the hole. She now has to get them re-pierced. I only meant to educate her on how they can always be at risk of infection and that she still needs to be careful. With this story she lost a little more colour but said she was fine.

I took the second out with a tug, she lost a little more colour. Then as I was inserting the hoop she went white, then green. She then started to hyperventilate a little and said she was going to puke. I got her sitting with her head between her knees until she felt steady. The dilemma...I still needed to get that second hoop in. I managed to get her talking about all of Evelyn's suitors at school and pushed the hoop all the way through.

I'm not sure when she's going to be up to changing them again. She said the second hoop pinched a bit when it went through but she has a fairly high pain tolerance so I don't know why the reaction. Was it my gruesome teaching moment of a story? A little over the top?

Evelyn is still begging to get hers done. It will be interesting if I make the rest of the girls wait until they're 8 or just give in by Lucienne.